How to Give Your Partner Space

Space. It is a big word for only five letters.

Space can be scary or super easy. One or the other; never both. Of course, depending on our past experiences. If you are someone who grew up with the silent treatment as a “punishment”, you probably understand the stress that space can create in relationships. By having a conversation about space when you are relaxed, we can rewire your early life experiences and reorient you toward a sense of partnership and connection that is not rooted in punishment. We can learn how to feel more empowered in our adult relationships than we were in our childhood families

A common question people ask is “how much space should I give my partner?”. It’s tricky to navigate this, especially if you are in an anxious-avoidant relationship dynamic. Your partner indicates they want space, but you want to know *exactly* what that means as space is completely excruciating at times.

Space guidelines

Have a conversation while you are both calm about how you will navigate space. Speak about what space means. Agree on long it will be till you reconnect. If the conversation is challenging, try reduce the stress by speaking about what is bothering you or your partner.

Commit to the duration space. You will have the urges to text or call, but don’t do. Why? the integrity of the agreement could be damaged if you do not follow through in the way you said you would to your partner.

Don’t be ashamed of space

Healthy relationship needs space from time to time. Giving ourselves space that is separate from our relationship allows us to still maintain individuality. Having physical or uninterrupted space to ourselves allows us to pay closer attention to our emotions. By giving ourselves space to think and process our emotions, we reduce the likelihood of lashing out at our partners or using poor communication methods. Space provides emotional clarity, the opportunity to take care of our specific needs and a sense of individuality that we can benefit from.

Thank you for reading.

Yours truly,

Michelle & Co.